SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Welcome to The Artist is In, where creativity doesn't stay inside the lines. We're your hosts, Kat Collins and Nina Buthansing, two artists sharing real, unfiltered conversations about the creative life.

SPEAKER_00: 0:14

Whether we're chatting with each other or interviewing fellow artists, we're here to explore the heart of making art and what it means to keep showing up. Let's dive in.

SPEAKER_01: 0:25

So welcome, Adam. I'm glad you're here to join me in this conversation today. Thank

SPEAKER_03: 0:30

you so much. I'm really excited about this.

SPEAKER_01: 0:32

Yeah, I look forward to chatting with you. I'm a big fan of your art, as you're well aware. I own a few pieces, and I keep making a list of the ones I want.

SPEAKER_03: 0:42

Well, right back at you.

SPEAKER_01: 0:45

So let's start at the beginning.

SPEAKER_03: 0:47

What

SPEAKER_01: 0:48

do you remember about your earliest experiences with art?

SPEAKER_03: 0:52

So honestly, I remember because I grew up in church, going to church religiously, literally and figuratively, I guess. But when I was little, I would sit in the pews in the sanctuary. And I think probably to keep me busy and quiet, my mom would give me the paper from the church bulletin and a pen or a pencil, and I would draw and color during the service.

SPEAKER_01: 1:22

I remember that well for myself. We grew up in kind of similar backgrounds in that way. And I think I colored every bulletin.

SPEAKER_03: 1:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 1:31

I would fill in all the little letters.

SPEAKER_03: 1:34

Exactly. Lines and shapes and cartoon people. Yeah. Some of my earliest drawings that my mom has kept anyway are, I think there's a couple she gave me that are on those little blank church bulletin pieces of paper and there's snails and flowers.

SPEAKER_01: 1:56

That's funny. You brought back that memory for me. Wow. Good

SPEAKER_02: 2:00

grief. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 2:02

So you've received training in several different things, you know, with oil painting, drawing, ceramics, even textile design through apprenticing at the Fabric Workshop and Museum. So how did those formative experiences shape your creative language?

SPEAKER_03: 2:19

That's a good question. So, I mean, first and foremost, you know, growing up, I don't believe that we were raised, my parents weren't wealthy by any means. I'm sure there was some struggle, but I got to give credit to my mom for investing in her kids' talents and gifts if she saw them. And she, she made sure that we had that outlet. So I got private art lessons in oil painting and in drawing i took as i got older i took my own ceramics lessons and i was lucky enough to have neighbors down the street who were artists and when i met them when i was probably 13 or 14 she ultimately her name is doina adam and she ultimately got me the apprenticeship at the fabric workshop and i feel like all of those experiences those different people that i met the teachers they all sort of played a part in that all of their personalities and all the doors that they opened up to me i feel like they taught me to look at different things or look at things differently right down to the shapes of leaves the colors and patterns and and i just love it all i i know that i do cyanotypes but i think my creative language is just being in awe of all things creative, all mediums and all the things that we can use to create art. And I think that informs me now, obviously with nature. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 4:02

And doing the cyanotypes, you take a very different way of looking at nature, which I love. It's a conversation I've had with other artists and previous one for this podcast too is, is, You make us slow down and look at what nature is, the shape of a petal, the shape of a leaf, and how a vine forms. And you make us really look at that aspect, which to me, it almost takes a religious nature to it, where it becomes very sacred about nature.

SPEAKER_03: 4:35

Yeah, yeah. And when I was a kid, probably from the age of seven, I think the last time I went was 16, I I spend every summer at a Christian boys camp up in the Adirondacks in New York. And thanks to my grandfather who used to take me up and my dad took me up a couple of times or I would go up on my own. And if you wanna talk about being in the middle of nature

SPEAKER_02: 5:00

and

SPEAKER_03: 5:01

almost forced, not that it was a forced thing, but you're forced to notice these things as you're walking through the Adirondacks, you pick up the smells and you feel the texture, you know what moss looks like and how different things feel. And I think it was that experience as well that helped kind of create the sense of like when I'm in nature, when I'm hiking, or honestly, even in my own backyard, I often just feel like, oh my God, that's so cool. Like, look at how that's growing. Look how it twists around that plant or something. Look at the veins in that leaf. It seems almost silly, but it's noticing, it's slowing down to your point and noticing those little tiny details that when you're just maybe walking through the neighborhood or on your drive to work, you just don't otherwise notice. And I love that about art, but also about the cyanotype process because it leaves an indefinite imprint of that tiny, tiny detail in what you create. And I just love it.

SPEAKER_01: 6:07

I love that. So tell me a little bit, what is cyanotype for those who don't know? So

SPEAKER_03: 6:13

cyanotype is a form of alternative photography. It was invented in the mid 1800s, I believe by a gentleman named Sir John Herschel. It was popularized by, oh gosh, I forget her name. I'm sorry. But it was popularized by a woman who was a botanist. And she used the cyanotype process to track different types of mosses and seaweeds from the coast in, I believe, in Britain. And so there's other types of camera-less photography, but the cyanotype process is a two-part chemical solution that you mix together, you coat on paper. And essentially, once you expose it to sunlight or even artificial UV light, which I have, it leaves... essentially a negative image of the material or that you place on the paper after exposure.

SPEAKER_01: 7:12

Yeah. I love how you combine different effects and, and create these.

SPEAKER_03: 7:16

Yeah. Yeah. Boy, what a rabbit hole I went down. Yeah,

SPEAKER_01: 7:19

that happens.

SPEAKER_03: 7:22

Yeah. And I don't know, but I guess it was about three years ago. I forget. And I tell this often. I tell people often, like, I forget what I was even looking for, but at the time I was really just going down the, rabbit holes on youtube watching people make different kinds of art and i think i read an article or i came across something on social media about anthotypes which is another form of alternative photography also using plants and then one thing led to another and i found a uk photographer who was making wet cyanotypes with these reeds that he found and i was just blown away And the texture and the color he was left with and the materials he used, it was just, I was instantly addicted.

SPEAKER_01: 8:10

So your cyanotype process is both physical and meditative. Can you walk us through how a piece comes to life from idea to execution?

SPEAKER_03: 8:22

Yeah, I think... Again, it starts from just being in awe when I'm in nature and noticing different shapes and textures. And there's a part of me that wants to bring those with me, right, and memorialize them. And so, you know, for a while in the beginning when I started Cyanotypes, we lived near Trexler Nature Preserve. And so I was hiking there quite often. They have great trails. And I was finding plants there. that i hadn't seen before and i was noticing these little microclimates where they have these deep gullies near jordan creek and then you'd go to the top of the trail at the top of the hill and they'd have grasses and you know meadow plants and things and i was just in awe and i think that in itself is a form of meditation being present and you know i have struggled with anxiety my entire life and so there's no better way to just relax and calm your mind than to just focus on being present and just being in awe of what you're seeing around you especially in nature picking up on the birds chirping and the the sound of the wind going through the trees and the color and oh gosh everything yeah To be honest, I forget your question, Kat, because I'm literally getting lost in that feeling.

SPEAKER_01: 9:53

No, it's a good place to be, to be honest with

SPEAKER_02: 9:56

you.

SPEAKER_01: 9:56

Yeah. I mean, it's talking about your process, basically, and how it comes to life from idea to execution. And you being in nature starts that process.

SPEAKER_03: 10:08

yeah and i'm a i'm a dreamer and so i think when i'm in those moments and i'm just kind of in all of these plants and these colors and textures i'm dreaming up ideas for how i could essentially like i said memorialize them and what would that look like on the paper and how could i get this vine to curl around so it's a cool composition

SPEAKER_02: 10:31

and

SPEAKER_03: 10:32

so you know i'm sure much to my wife's chagrin there's been tons of times where i've just brought home stacks of plants that i've caught while hiking or or foraged or whatnot and i flattened them and early on i was i was i was just bringing home as much as i could whenever i found something interesting And essentially, whenever it was pressed and dried, then it was much easier to put on the paper and make a cyanotype with. But I often, because I have a little bit of impatience as well, I would bring the plant home and I would get a piece of pre-coated paper and I'd just immediately throw it on there and put it in the sun. And a lot of it is trial and error. It's just playing. and seeing what happens. And that's sort of the biggest part of the process, I think.

SPEAKER_01: 11:22

Yeah. I love the fact that you say you memorialize this. To me, it comes across as a sacred recording of our natural history.

SPEAKER_03: 11:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 11:36

And that's such a cool, cool thing.

SPEAKER_03: 11:38

Yeah. I mean, I've always been into photography. I was... I'm one of those people, or I was one of those people that when I had a film camera, I would get the film developed and I'd always get doubles or triples because, well, what if I want to give them out to somebody? Or what if I want to frame this or something? And I like to use them as memories. I have photos from when I was younger of just like the front of my family's house or my next door neighbor's house or something. with the idea that like, what if I wanna remember what this looks like in the future in this very moment? And also, and I've probably said this before to you, I can pretty much tell you every plant that I make a cyanotype with and where I found it. And I think that's reflective of just how close and I become to the moment and how special it is for me when I find those plants And then when I'm looking, you know, three years into making cyanotypes now, when I'm looking back three years ago at some of my originals, I still remember how it felt to find the plant, what it felt like to pull it out of the ground or where I was hiking or something. And there's no better way to feel that. I don't know. It's hard to describe.

SPEAKER_01: 12:58

No, I think you described it well. And, you know, it's... Kind of similar to my process as well, which is all from memory and intuition. I'm tongue-tied now.

SPEAKER_02: 13:09

Intuition.

SPEAKER_01: 13:11

But you can feel that when you look at your work.

SPEAKER_03: 13:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 13:17

So you recreate that for somebody else to connect with.

SPEAKER_03: 13:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 13:21

It's

SPEAKER_03: 13:22

very cool. They become special memories. And I think there's a certain element of me that I resist that. like mass production almost, you know, like we do a lot of vendor events and I know, you know, over the last couple of years of doing these events, I've learned, well, people really like this and people really like that. And I know that I could, you know, mass produce these or put this on 10 or 15 different canvas pouches or something. And people will buy that,

SPEAKER_02: 13:51

but,

SPEAKER_03: 13:52

but there's a little bit of resistance. And I'm sure my wife would agree like to, to doing that mass production type thing, because

SPEAKER_02: 13:58

it's,

SPEAKER_03: 13:59

the element for me is, is like each one that I create is special and some good memories tied to those, or even just good feelings, you know?

SPEAKER_01: 14:10

Yeah. Yeah. It's always a balance with having to create your art from your heart for yourself, but then create work that people want or that people will buy. You know, there is a fine line with that, I think.

SPEAKER_03: 14:25

Yeah, there really is. And I think I struggle with that because I, I don't think I necessarily got into art or coming back into cyanotypes with the intention of mass production. Or of course, I wanted to be able to get to a point where I felt confident enough to show and sell my art, but also not to lose how special it was to create it to begin with, if

SPEAKER_01: 14:52

that makes sense. No, absolutely. Absolutely. And I think what's something I always say to myself and to other artists is, If you create authentically from your heart and put your vulnerability and self onto whatever you're creating, the audience will connect with you and will see that. And that's what they want. We want authenticity and that closeness and connection, especially in our society now where everything is social media and very removed from person to person contact.

SPEAKER_03: 15:26

Yeah.

UNKNOWN: 15:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 15:27

That's so true. And, you know, I think that element of, especially for a good while there, after I started making cyanotypes, incorporating sacred geometry into the process was because I just had this, I have these feelings when I see these things in nature and I'm like, oh my God, look at the, the patterns right, right down to the cellular level in, in our entire universe is connected to to everything else. We see these same patterns. Let's say the patterns of a dahlia, the petals of a dahlia, are the same thing that we see in maybe certain organs or parts of our body. And I think my intention was, I feel so awestruck by this connection and this interdependence from way down on the cellular level to outer space that I hope that my cyanotypes make people feel the same way. I hope it calls that out to people. And that's, I don't know, that's part of my drive or motivation is to get people to look at, say, a cyanotype I made of different grasses and spark that interest or ask those questions or something. And that's so special to me.

SPEAKER_01: 16:44

Absolutely. Yeah, you use sacred geometry and natural forms in a lot of your work, and it suggests a spiritual or philosophical underpinning. How do these themes connect to your personal healing journey?

SPEAKER_03: 17:00

Well, I think I reached an age where I started to, and maybe it's all part of normal adult development, I don't know, but where I started to realize that I have to respect and appreciate my roots and where I came from, the things that were taught to me as a child, but also in order to be healthy and happy, you have to be able to evolve. those beliefs, I guess, or adjust them as you grow older and add your new newer life experiences to what you were taught in the past. And I think respecting and appreciating where I came from. And, and I also think that that ties in specifically in a lot of my signage where I'm like, in all of the power of a tiny little seed, and how it can under the right conditions, it can grow into this huge tree, say, right? And I look at that the same way as I look at somebody's life. I think children, babies and children are sacred and should be provided the right connections and conditions and look at what they can grow into. And I think part of my healing journey has been growing my life sense of awareness about my past and where I came from and being able to apply it to my future and not just resist it or run away from it or deny it, but incorporate it into who I am now. And I can still be a different person. I can still work on being a better version of myself and all the time, because I think that's our ultimate goal is to always work towards being a better version of ourselves. And we can't do that without giving some credence to our past.

SPEAKER_01: 18:53

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03: 18:53

You know, and, and I think my, I think my creative process or my artistic journey, I think is reflective of that process, that thought process as well. I

SPEAKER_01: 19:05

love it. And this fits in so well to what we've been doing for season two for this podcast. which is all about the idea of becoming. Becoming as an artist, becoming as a human, and our journey through that. What does that word mean to you personally and creatively?

SPEAKER_03: 19:23

It's hard to answer, but the more I think about defining becoming, I recall several times over the last couple of years where I just thought to myself, I am becoming who I always wanted to be. Yeah. I'm becoming who I denied myself or what I denied myself of or rejected about myself. It's a self-actualization, maybe, or a process. I am becoming what I fought so hard against for so many years for one reason or another. And gosh, it makes me a little emotional, to be honest, because I look back now after... taking these steps to maybe get back into art and even more than that, share it publicly. Cause that was a huge, huge step for me. And I, and I often think like, why was I so afraid to do that? Like I am literally, I'm so beyond grateful that, that I just, I don't know what it was. I had that spark. I had enough support that I just took that step. And to me becoming is, is almost all about returning. I am becoming who I always wanted to be when I was a child, who I just knew. Some kids as they are growing up, they just know. They don't have any doubt or fear or they have a clear path and direction. And I had that early on too. There was no doubt in my mind that I was just going to... This was who I was. I was an artist. And becoming almost means returning to me, returning to that. And I love it too. I feel like when I was younger, I would hear older people say, don't have regrets about your life. When you're on your deathbed, you don't want to look back and feel sad that you didn't do this, that or the other. And I still have a lot of fear, but what feels really good is knowing that Someday when I'm on my deathbed, I'm not going to regret the decision or the challenge that I took to do it, to get back into art and to share it and to be courageous about that. Because I think it all plays into that whole becoming, that idea of becoming.

SPEAKER_01: 21:51

Yes, it does. Absolutely. Talking about the fact that you had such a strong start when you were younger being artistic, but you stepped away from it. from art for over two decades you know things happens what led to that pause and what eventually called you back

SPEAKER_03: 22:09

well gosh what a long road i mean it was like 2022 when i really took steps forward with that and so it had been about 20 20 years and since i really well over 20 years since i really shared any of my artwork publicly

SPEAKER_02: 22:27

and

SPEAKER_03: 22:28

20 years since i really actively created And I think what started it was when I left high school and I got into the working world, I was initially taking art classes in college and things like that. Somewhere along the way, maybe it was I took some criticism too personally, but then I also got greedy because I had a full-time job and I could work and make money and support myself. And so I focused more on that. I think it was a combination of things. But ultimately, I think what happened was over time, early in my 20s to mid-20s, I developed this story in my head that started to say, you're not good enough to do this. You can't make a living off of this. Nobody's going to like it. Don't bother. There's more important things, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. and I just sat with that story for a long long time and I built up the fear in my head for a long time and then what I think ultimately led me back was I mean my wife has always been super supportive and encouraging and I give her a lot of credit for being my cheerleader and I should tell her more. But also, I think what led me back was I felt so constricted and restrained and so agitated inside that I was being held back from engaging in the creative process and making art. And I'm sure it's received over the years plenty of positive reinforcement from some people and my family has always been supportive and things like that. But it was just a matter of, I can't take this anymore. I have to do it. And honestly, when I found cyanotypes, I'm like, okay, this is great. This feels safe to me. I'm going to make these and I'm just going to put it out there and see what happens. I know I've shared with you in the past with painting. My paintings, I've always been way more vulnerable about. And way more uncomfortable to share because I've made paintings over the years that were super, super personal. But with cyanotypes, they felt a little bit more, they felt safer to share and put out there. Like, oh, I could get less criticism for putting these out here because, well, it's a piece of paper and a plant.

UNKNOWN: 25:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 25:11

And I think that's what led me back was like, all right, I'm so scared to do this and put myself out there, but I can't take this anymore. I feel so restricted and restrained and unhappy. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to see what happens. You just got to do it one time and see what happens. And then that was it.

SPEAKER_01: 25:32

Now you're hooked.

SPEAKER_03: 25:33

And now I'm hooked. And honestly, I'm sure there's things that I've put out there that are not the best or that people have plenty of criticism about, but I've also at the same time received enough positive encouragement and positive reaction to stuff that I've put out there that that is sort of like a rolling ball. Like it keeps, you build on that, right?

SPEAKER_01: 25:59

Right.

SPEAKER_03: 26:00

And that helps me to keep going for sure.

SPEAKER_01: 26:03

Yeah, absolutely. So when you return to art and coming back to it, What have you learned about yourself that you didn't know or maybe forgot before?

SPEAKER_03: 26:11

Well, I've certainly learned a lot. I think the biggest thing I've learned, though, is that I don't have to be so afraid. I don't have to be so I like people and I like to put myself out there and I like networking and connecting with other artists. It's been so fulfilling for me, especially thanks to you. I mean, I give a lot of credit to you, truly, because of your reception of, of my artwork and also connecting me to other artists and some great people that I've met. And I think the biggest thing is just, just I've learned, just don't be so afraid all the time, you know, like you can't, it's that old saying, like you can't go above it, below it, around it. You have to go through it. And as soon as I went through the fear and I did it scared, as they say, like I just kept, And I keep finding like more and more doors are opening and I keep having these experiences that I dreamed of having for a long time, but I was always too afraid to have and people that I dreamed of getting to know, but I was always too afraid to get to know them. And that's the biggest thing by far. And I love it. I love

SPEAKER_01: 27:24

it. Always so excited for you. And I'm such a big fan and always cheering you on.

SPEAKER_03: 27:30

I'm still working on that wallpaper, Kat. I swear.

SPEAKER_01: 27:33

I'm

SPEAKER_03: 27:36

going to make that happen one of these days.

SPEAKER_01: 27:39

For those that don't know, I wanted to turn one of his works into wallpaper for my house. Neither of us are graphic design inclined. That didn't go well for either of us, but that's okay. One day we'll figure it out. But I did paint my walls the color to match his

SPEAKER_03: 27:56

work. That's right. And it looks beautiful.

SPEAKER_01: 27:58

It does. It's perfect. I'm so excited by it. I love it. How do you see the evolution of your work, not just in the technique, but in your intention?

SPEAKER_03: 28:11

Certainly, putting technique aside, because I get bored easy, so I always like to experiment and play with new styles. But my intention, I think... is to try new mediums and incorporate new mediums into it and to continue to push my own boundaries. And also I think what keeps coming up for me even now is my intention is to still put stuff out there that I am afraid to put out there, right? Is to like do something that makes me uncomfortable, but just to do it. to keep trying to do that and gain more and more confidence.

SPEAKER_01: 28:54

Yeah. You started incorporating mixed media into your work with the inks and oil pastels and watercolors. Yeah. So what draws you to layering both visually and symbolically, you know, as a way of, it's another evolution of what you're doing.

SPEAKER_03: 29:09

Yeah. I, well, I don't know. I think of this one print that I made of an Eagle and I, And when I was done printing it, I liked it, but it was missing something. And I often do that with a lot of them. Like you should see the stack that I have where I'm like, I don't like it. It needs something else. Right. But, but with the Eagle, it was the same thing. And eventually I came back to it and I'm like, let me see what would happen if I would add this color, this watercolor, and then I'll add this watercolor. and add some texture and stuff to it. I think it's just to constantly be curious. And a lot of the prints that I come back to where I'm struggling, I'm struggling, I'm struggling. And when I get to the point where I'm like, you know what, let's just mess around with this and see what happens. And that's sort of what led, you know, using different types of ink and pastel and watercolor and things like that.

SPEAKER_01: 30:09

And you've even started using your prints that you didn't like to use as collage in newer works.

SPEAKER_03: 30:16

Oh, yeah. And that was super exciting, too. I mean, I would have these, I have boxes or stacks of these prints where I'm like, this is just not going to work. I'm not putting this out there. I don't like it. But I'm sure I could get creative and figure out something. And yeah, the collage stuff is a lot of fun. you totally create something new from, from what you already have. And it's unique. And I don't know. I just, I love cutting them up and mixing them together. I think that's so cool.

SPEAKER_01: 30:53

Yeah, that is. So what's something you're currently experiencing, experimenting with or hoping to try next?

SPEAKER_03: 31:01

Well, I've done a lot of like combinations of eco printing and cyanotypes. It's sort of like, it's a unicorn process for me. Like, oh, can I get this perfect combination? And I'm still on this journey. Like I made a print recently of these beautiful peonies that we have had in bloom on our property. And I was really hoping that combining the ecoprint process, I could get some of the pigment from these peonies. And I think I sort of did, but I'm always trying to pick up that color more and more and more. And I also want to explore more cyanotypes on fabric and canvas. I have this vision of creating these huge, huge cyanotypes that are on stretched canvas. Yeah. And incorporating the natural elements that I already use, like turmeric and other inks and things like that. And just trying to come up with something just big and amazing. And I've done cyanotypes on fabric.

SPEAKER_02: 32:09

In

SPEAKER_03: 32:09

fact, some of our biggest sellers at vendor events are these zipper pouches that I make that people love. And I don't get it, but my wife was like, just trust me. And so I understand how it works. And I know it's sort of a technique to get them to show up properly and to look good. They are a beast to make, but I just envision these big... cool, you know, mixed media pieces with cyanotypes on stretched canvas.

SPEAKER_01: 32:41

Oh, you've got to do it.

SPEAKER_03: 32:42

I know. I really need to. I really need to. I'm excited. So that's my next sort of experiment or journey, I think.

SPEAKER_01: 32:52

That'll be cool. Man, I have to build an addition to my house just for art. But I can add more of these pieces. Yes. So you've said that nature and music are central to your work. How did they shape your emotional or energetic approach to making?

SPEAKER_03: 33:09

I don't know. I get the same feeling from listening to music that I do from being in the middle of nature. It's like euphoric. Like there are some songs where, and then also when I'm hiking and I'm listening to music while I'm hiking, I think I create a connection there. I think the emotion that I feel when I'm sort of, taking in these things nature and music it gives me the energy and the excitement to to play i'm more likely to play i think that's what it is is like it feels good you know like there's happy songs sad songs but there's certain songs that i just i could just i don't know it just take they take me away and that's what it's like being in nature too and finding these plants and I get taken away and then I keep that in my mind. And when I come back to a coded piece of paper or canvas or what have you, I can keep that feeling and I can inject that into what I'm making. I love that energy. You know, I'm a little bit, maybe I'm a little bit too... receptive to it or something like the effect that it has on me. But I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. It's definitely a good injection of dopamine. And I use that to just stay curious and play.

SPEAKER_01: 34:36

Oh, yeah, absolutely. So you have a background in psychology and have worked in human resources for a long time. How has that influenced your relationship with creativity, vulnerability, or your personal growth?

SPEAKER_03: 34:51

Yeah, my education in psychology, I think I've always been interested in figuring people out and myself out. I think I got down the road to, went down the road in psychology to try and make sense of who I was and where I came from and feelings that I have and like, what starts this? And I use that sort of experience. I also work with individuals with intellectual disabilities for years. gosh, a number of years from 18 until my late 20s, early 30s, and in one form or another. And I think that informs me as well. I got into human resources when I was in college for psychology. Because I am a people person, I wanted to help people. I realized I probably wouldn't be very successful as like a psychologist or counselor. But I think because of my years in corporate America, when I went back to college as an adult for my degree in psychology, I was really interested in applying what I was learning in the corporate space. So one avenue I was thinking about going down was industrial organizational psychology, which is very research driven. And there's a lot of data and analysis, but it helps that field really helps to shape corporate culture, and I was really interested in that. And there's a natural, I think, for me anyway, there was a natural shift into human resources because of that, because I could still help to influence and shape the corporate culture, but work with people. And I do have a, I'm very, what is it, right-brained or left-brained? I forget which one, but the analytical and the technical side of me Right brain. That's the right brain. Thank you. That's the smaller, the rational side of me. I

SPEAKER_01: 36:50

feel you. It's okay.

SPEAKER_03: 36:51

Yeah. That side of me, I really love using that side of my brain when I'm in the corporate space. And I've gotten really into HR operations and working in systems with the data and the reporting and analytics and things like that. So I think... What had to happen, though, for me was I had to find a happy balance. When I first started getting creative again, I needed to say, okay, I have to make space for both of these things. And on a personal level, my education and background with people and behavior and psychology and things sort of certainly influenced my own approach and healing journey and things like that but also as I got back into making art I realized I need to make space for this and I got to work that out inside myself and I have to make a living at the same time and it's a constant daily battle trust me but I think they they I think I'm coming to a happy medium or a happy balance. Eventually, I'll get there anyway. At

SPEAKER_01: 38:09

some

SPEAKER_03: 38:10

point. At some point, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 38:12

I know. We always want to be making art instead.

SPEAKER_03: 38:14

Always. It's one of the worst things about being in the middle of my workday and going outside on a gorgeous day and taking a break. We have these ginkgo trees outside of our building and there's All kinds of different, interesting plants. And I find myself, I'll go outside and take a break and be like, oh, I wonder if I have any. I could grab some cardboard from inside and I could come out and take a cutting and take this home. And then I have to remind myself, oh, no, you have a meeting. You have to get back to, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 38:45

Yeah. I suspect it can be a little challenging.

SPEAKER_03: 38:48

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 38:51

Oh, that's funny.

SPEAKER_03: 38:52

For sure.

SPEAKER_01: 38:52

So. If you could offer one piece of encouragement to someone who's been disconnected from their creativity for a long time, what would you say? I

SPEAKER_03: 39:05

would say what I would say. I know how you're feeling. If there's a reason that you're disconnected or you're feeling disconnected, I know how it feels. And all you got to do is connect. The door is open for you. You just have to walk through it. Even though you don't know what's on the other side and you're scared about what's on the other side, you have it in you. Just do it. Walk through. Because trust me, the world that's on the other side of that door, you know, I used to look at it like I had this dream one time where I was at a gate And I could see what was on the other side and I was reaching my arms through the gate, but the gate was locked. And I kept focusing on the other side and focusing on the other side. Then I was talking to somebody one time and I was telling them about this dream and how I felt it related to just my waking life and what I felt like every day, not creating art or being too afraid to create art. And they said, well, what if the key was in your pocket the whole time? And I was like, oh my God. Maybe I should stop focusing on what's on the other side of this locked gate, but I should start searching in my pockets for that key because it's there. And so my encouragement would be, don't look through the locked gate, look in your pocket. Because you literally have the key to open that gate and experience what you're longing to experience. And all you have to do is walk through. Because trust me, it like, My life has changed over the last few years. And I couldn't imagine there was a time where I had no idea that key was in my pocket. And all I had to do was unlock that gate and I was there. And it just took a little bit of courage. We all have courage. So just do it scared, but do it.

SPEAKER_01: 41:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_03: 41:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 41:09

Absolutely. So what does success look like for you now as someone who's redefined what it means to live as an artist?

SPEAKER_03: 41:18

So many things. I talked about that constant struggle with like, I don't want to have this stupid job in HR. I want to be a full-time artist and I want to make my living in art. And I think success now for me at this stage is I know that that's in my future. It's going to be in my future for the rest of my life. And at this stage, success is, finding the happy balance and accepting that i have this job that i don't this career that i don't don't really find fulfillment in as much as i find in art and then continuing to build on my art practice and eventually someday i'm going to be able to say i can walk away from this corporate career and i can i could live out the rest of my life fully immersed in, in my creative practice.

SPEAKER_01: 42:18

That's exciting.

SPEAKER_03: 42:19

Yeah. I'm excited

SPEAKER_01: 42:20

about it. I'm sure. Yeah. I will definitely be beside you cheering you on the entire time.

SPEAKER_03: 42:27

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 42:28

You have such a beautiful soul. I'm thrilled to call you my friend and fellow artist

SPEAKER_03: 42:34

and fellow

SPEAKER_01: 42:34

artist. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 42:36

Well, I feel the same about you, Kat. I, you know how I feel about your artwork and, and, Certainly there are some of your pieces where I just, I feel it so much and I connect to it so much and, and I just love your process. And I am so, I've probably said it a million times, but I am so, so grateful to you and, and just your creativity, your personality, your drive. I don't know how you do half the things that you do. I wish I had some of that, but I am, I'm also super proud to, be able to call you my friend and, and support you as well. Cause I, I just, I love you. You're great.

SPEAKER_01: 43:18

No, thank you. All right. Enough of the love fest. Thank you. Thank you so much for chatting with me today, Adam. I really appreciate it. Tell us where we can find you and your art.

SPEAKER_03: 43:30

Okay. So I, I have a little bit, we do a lot of events. So physically you can find my art at vendor events. For example, I, In September, I'm lined up for almost every weekend at vendor events, and I will post those and share those on social media. On Instagram, it's adamchrist__art, and I'm at adamchristart on Facebook. And so I'll make sure I share upcoming events, like I'll be at Art in the Park in September. which I'm super excited about. And I'm also excited that Doylestown Arts Festival is coming up. I'll be there as well. Also, I've got art exhibited at Lukenbach Mill through Lehigh Art Alliance. I'm super proud to be part of that. And hopefully I can continue to participate and be involved in those exhibitions. And hopefully just more and more. As time goes on, I'll be out there more and more. That's my goal. Just keep getting out there and keep doing it even if I'm scared to do it.

SPEAKER_01: 44:38

Amen.

SPEAKER_03: 44:40

Amen.

SPEAKER_01: 44:43

So that was Adam Christ, an artist whose story reminds us that the call to create never really disappears. It waits quietly until we're ready to return. Whether it's through sunlight, shadow, or sacred shape, Adam's work invites us to find beauty in becoming and healing through expression. If today's episode sparked something in you, don't forget to like, share, and leave a review. It helps other creatives find their way to the show. Until next time, keep listening, keep making, and remember the artist is in you.